The night was beautiful, we were just far enough from the city that the night’s sky sparkled with thousands of shining stars. The ones that were covered by clouds overhead, still emitted enough light that even the tree tops looked as if they were glowing beneath. The cool winter’s breeze danced between the branches they sang a song of new beginnings. Or maybe that was all in my head, a side effect of a hopeful heart on new years eve.
The night was most certainly beautiful, but what made it so enchanting for me was the dancing figure just twenty feet ahead. I watched as Abby hopped, twist, and twirled to whatever tune was playing in her head throughout my yard. I could hear our families laughing at whatever game they were playing now from where I sat on the porch steps. It was cold, I tugged my coat tighter around my shivering form, I couldn’t imagine how Abby managed to have such energy in this weather. Although, maybe the jumping around had something to do with it, I thought to myself with a smile.
I had came out here under the excuse of fresh air, Abby, of course, had followed me out. Wherever I went, she followed and vice versa, it’s been like this for over ten years. I had initially planned on doing the count down out here and away from prying eyes, but with every blast of cold wind, my resolve cracked even more. I heard the sliding glass door open behind me, some of the hot air hit my back and my shivering subsided some.
I turned to see my mother walking out with two mugs of something hot, probably hot chocolate, I could see the steam floating and curling around her face before dissipating into the cold night. They must have been quite full, I bit the inside of my lips to prevent from laughing at her little waddle.
“Do you need help?” I uncrossed my arms to get up, but she just shook her head at me.
“No, no. I’m alright. You look nearly frost bitten out here, though,” she handed my one of the mugs and sat down next to me, “Figured you could use some cocoa to warm you up.”
I held the mug under my face, allowing the steam to rise up and thaw out my frozen, probably red nose. “Thanks.”
We sat like that for a moment or two, the both of us watching Abby run around. She’s probably wondering where she gets the energy like I am. At least, that’s what I thought until she said, “So when are you going to tell her?”
I glance over at my mom confused, “Tell her what?”
She just tilted her head at me with a knowing look, “Don’t act like that. I’m your mother, I can see it on your face.”
If my face wasn’t red before, it most certainly was now. I suddenly found my hot chocolate very interesting. Luckily, my mother dropped the topic. Although I’m not sure if it were for my sake or because a pair of furry winter boots found it’s way into my sight.
“Is that hot chocolate?” Abby asked, slightly out of breath.
My mom smiled up at her, “Sure is!”
“Thanks, Ms. Quinn,” Abby went to drink it fast and, despite the fact that the mug had been sitting in the cold for a few minutes, burns herself on it. She flinched and pulled the cup away slightly frowning at the hot drink as if it were its fault.
“Oh, right!” My mother exclaimed while popping up from the step she had been sitting on. She reached into her coat pocket and pulls out a little box, the size of her palm, wrapped in dark purple wrapping paper with little stars printed on it.
“I nearly forgot,” She held it out for Abby with a smile, “Merry belated Christmas, Abigail honey.”
I stood up and grabbed Abby’s mug so she could unwrap her gift. I was curious too, it wasn’t the first time my mother had bought her a gift, but it was the first time that she hadn’t told me beforehand. Abby pulled the paper off slowly and tucked it away in her pocket. It was probably a mix of her trying not to drop the paper on the ground and her pale hands being too cold for full mobility.
Eventually, a small, velvet black box was revealed and I felt my heart rate speed up. I recognized the box, it was the same one I had opened last year. My eyes fell to the little gold locket Abby wore now. It had become a constant part of her wardrobe lately, and an irrational source of joy for me every time I saw her wearing it. A feeling short-lived I feared as I looked down to the golden heart locket in the little black box of doom.
“I noticed you always wearing Julia’s locket,” I barely heard my mother’s voice over the roaring in my ears, “So I figured I’d get you your own!”
I tried to force a smile and glanced between my mom and Abby. It was silly, I know, to be so distraught over a simple locket. It didn’t feel like ‘just a locket’ to me, however. To me, it felt like hope, whether or not it was true, seeing Abby wear my locket felt like more to me. It felt like no matter what, who we meet or where we go, we’d never change. Now that she had her own, she would have no use for mine. It felt like a change in dynamics, however irrational that is, and that was terrifying to me.
My eyes fell back to Abby, who had yet to say anything. It seemed her gaze was glued to the box on her palm, her free hand found it’s way to the one she was currently wearing. Her hand fell and she looked up at my mother with a smile, “Thank you, Ms. Quinn! It’s gorgeous.” Her eyes fall back to the locket, she ran her fingers over the little engraved AS, “You really didn’t have to.”
My mother smiled, “Don’t even think about it. You’re practically a daughter to me!” She gave me a pointed look before turning to go back inside.
“Don’t stay out here to long now girls. Don’t want you catching a cold on new years, it’s bad luck!”
Abby and I stood there for a while longer, neither one of us knowing quite what to say next. Abby was the first to break the silence when she snapped the necklace box closed and stuffed it in her pocket. She reached a hand out for her mug and took another sip, carefully this time. I released a sigh, If she didn't want to mention it, then I wouldn't either.
I didn’t particularly want to go back in, not after what my mother implied she knew about me, but it was cold and the sight of Abby’s red nose had me feeling guilty for coming out here at all.
Abby shook her head and took another gulp of her hot chocolate. “Nope, I have another idea,” She grabbed my mug too, set them both down on the railing and took my hand, “Follow me!”
We ran past my yard and into the small stretch of forest beyond, sticking to the once well worn path before us. It was overgrown now, we had to be careful not to trip over any roots or stones and avoid the thorny bushes. It's easily been about six years since we’ve ran through here last. I could almost see our past selves at twelve-years-old running along hand in hand, similar to how we were now.
Soon enough, we found ourselves standing under the tree house Mr. Summer, Abby’s dad, built for us so long ago. I looked over to Abby, she had a conspiratorial grin on her face, I couldn't help but smile back at the look I’ve seen a thousand times.
“I figured we could do the count down in here,” She said, holding out the rope ladder to me. I grab hold, thankful that it was in better shape than the path had been.
“You first,” I nodded towards the ladder, “I’ll hold the rope.”
Just like old times. The rope tends to swing and Abby was always nervous climbing up. She probably wouldn’t have any trouble now that she was older, but tonight just felt like one big flashback. I watched as Abby made her way up and into the tree house, I waited until she stook her head out and waved me up before beginning my ascent.
By time we both got in and sat on the old wooden floor, it was nearly time to count. We sat cross-legged while facing each other. Somehow, it was not as cold in here as it was outside, maybe it’s our proximity. I grab one of Abby’s hands and rub it between my own, I wasn't much warmer but hopefully the friction would help.
“It’s definitely way more cramped up here than I remember,” Abby said with a nervous laugh.
“It’s been around six years since then,” I smiled and looked around. There were painted hearts and stars all over the place, some are chipping and others still looked brand new. Abigail and Julia’s little corner was scrawled across one of the walls. I teared up slightly from the fond memories flooding my head. I looked back to Abby, she had twisted her head to follow my gaze a small, reminiscent smile sat on her face as well.
I looked down at my watch and set my hand on her knee, “It’s time!”
We both looked at the little hand ticks by. Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five…
Abby looked up, counting out loud now, “Four.”
I followed suit, barely able to keep up from the lump in my throat. This is it, I think to myself, I’ll finally tell her.
“Three.”
My heart was racing and I could barely breathe. I can’t tell her, I’m not ready for things to change.
“Two.”
Change isn’t always bad, though. Things changed before, and we stayed together, at worse, it’ll be awkward for a while. At best… It’s just three words.
“I love you.”
“One!”
“I love you.”
But that wasn't what came out. In fact, I didn’t get the chance to say anything. Instead, Abby’s lips pressed against mine. They were soft and warm, despite the cold. Her hands found mine and she began to pull away. No! I thought, I wasn’t sure if this was some dream or hallucination, maybe I’ll wake up on my mother’s couch with everyone teasing me for missing the count down. Either way, I’m not ready for it to end. I leaned in this time, one hand held hers and the other founds its way to the base of her neck. I closed my eyes and bring my lips to hers once more.
Eventually, we pulled away for air and Abby sent me a sheepish smile, “Happy new year, Julia Quinn.”
I almost laughed at her use of my full name, she only ever used it when she’s excited, “Happy new year, Abigail Summer.”
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