"I only watched and finished until the end because of Megan Fox."
Movie Title: Johnny & Clyde
Year Released: 2023
Genre: Crime, Action (honestly the game was so random, I'm not even sure what proper genre to tag this as)
Identify when/where you've watched it: Watched from the watch party
Warning label: Major spoilers
Type of post: Rant/Thoughts on the movie
SUMMARY
The movie is about lovers Johnny and Clyde on a killing spree. It's based off Bonnie and Clyde but I'm not gonna tackle the reference. I'd like to focus more on the plot, direction and characters of the movie.
They tried too hard to be entertaining and they failed [Johnny & Clyde (2023) - 1/10] Movie Review
FIRST IMPRESSION
My first impression to the movie is that it gives a strong (Beckinsale's) Jolt movie vibe. The colors used for props, costume and lights are purple and pink. These colors that aren't normally used in movies and seldom is meant to depict something aggressively fun and graphic (Danganronpa, From Beyond, Color of Space, etc.) or in Night Teeth's fighting scenes (you know when the room has ultra pink/purple lights that something bloody is about to go down).
So yes that was the impression it wants to give with blonde Megan Fox in pink, walls painted magenta and some lights also with similar color. It started okay I suppose but that first impression just went straight in the mud as the movie progresses.
DIRECTION
The direction of the movie was a tad bit confusing and quite random as it goes on. The genre isn't just exactly "Crime" and "Action" specifically. It's a mix of many others and here's why.
Action
It's given throughout the movie. We have blood splatter everywhere, headshots and melee weapon kills and amputations. It's action-packed yes, no doubt.
Crime
With the amount of killing that's been happening yeah, that's given. Johnny and Clyde wants to commit a heist to rob Alana since she is filthy rich and she has a warehouse of money not guarded very well because it's "hidden".
Those are the visible genres on the outside. But there's more.
Supernatural
We later discover that Alana has satanic connections of the sort. When she finds out Johnny and Clyde are coming to rob her, she prepares herself by summoning the bakwas to guard her money. The "climax" of the movie is Johnny, Clyde and their merryband of weirdos tries to rob Alana as they carefully planned, only to be intercepted by the bakwas.
Horror Comedy
The only time I've ever seen a "horror comedy" genre is from Jennifer's Body and to be honest, I don't even consider the movie as a comedy (with the exception of Jennifer's humor). But THIS (J&C) is something that would be considered "comedy" with the film's hilarious point of direction and character motives.
Satire
The movie is exaggerated to the point that characters are beyond dumb at times they need to be, their characterization are paper thin, their motives aren't enough to make me as a viewer root for them.
Hentai/Ecchi
If this were an anime, the movie deserves to wave this label with the amount of fan service it offers. Nudity is available throughout the film. A lot of skin, characters wearing S&M leather for no reason, lots of tonguing and licking scenes to show Johnny and Clyde's extreme "love" for each other, sure.
Thoughts
While I appreciate the fan service, I'm also a woman who appreciates a good plot. If I wanted pure porn, I could have just went to search for a porn movie.
They wanted it entertaining and the actor performances aren't really bad per se. It's the way the movie was directed and executed and let's not forget the script. The actors did their part to deliver the script according to their character personality but it's just so lacking of life.
Make them swear in every sentence, sure that's an effective way to give leave an impact.
The movie doesn't know what it wants to do. Do they want a Joker and Harley Quinn couple spreading havoc in the city (crime focused) or to they want to focus on the extreme love for each other?
WHAT APPROACH DO THEY WANT
Johnny and Clyde
Johnny and Clyde are serial killers slash lovers and throughout the film that has been a consistent trait of theirs. But their chemistry, while I enjoyed their fan service, they are the type of lovers that I find cringe. It's not realistic and even if it is, heck it's just cringe.
Clyde
Personally Clyde doesn't even stand out to me as a "main character" she is no different than Alan's blonde bimbo. She's just Johnny's bimbo that's it. Sure she has a moment, a choice to choose what to do with Johnny after what happened to her dad. But her reaction just proved to me how much of a bimbo she is for Johnny. Sure it symbolizes her "love" for Johnny if that's what it's supposed to depict. But for me, Alana has more personality than her. She's very vague.
Johnny
Avan's performance is very similar to his role in Zombieland 2 except that he is more violent with extra crazy on top of it. I cannot unsee him as Beck from Victorious but doesn't mean I don't recognize him growing up as a man and not my boy dream crush. However I think this film butchered his reputation and his performance laid waste because of how badly it was written. (edited)
MEGAN FOX
As a Megan Fox fan I believe I want a separate discussion to what they did to her in this film.
Positive Note
There are only 2 positive things to take note of for Megan Fox in this horrible film. One, she is a badass villain with a thing for pink wardrobe, being served by servants in S&M leather and shooting people around her after talking to them. She carries a "daughter of a mafia boss" type of aura to her. And two, she is hot as blonde lmao.
Negative Note
There are three things to take note of. One, she has minimal screen time since she isn't the MC. Two, she was introduced as a badass crafty villain who knows what she's doing. The type of villain who has actual brains to lead an entire evil organization. But as the movie ended, for some reason she just lost all that charisma. When Guy asked for the stone she casually gave it with the confident playful attitude she had since the beginning. With how she was introduced and shown in the film, I was misled to think she KNOWS what the stone can do and that she'd have given Guy a fake one. But from a badass villain to a dumb chick real quick.
And lastly, I think you already know where this is going. She gets killed because of what she's done. It's enough for me that Guy didn't live to see another day even if he had the stone.
While the "direction of the movie" wants ALL of the characters to die, leaving only the Bakwas for reasons of the writer or director that I do not understand.
Final Words
The movie is a complete wreck but so is my ranting lmao. They tried so hard to make it entertaining. They have "fun" characters put together in a team like the usual recruiting montage but the characters aren't catchy at all. I don't even remember names nor did they do or say anything so significant that I'd bother to quote them.
The movie isn't worth re-watching and it most certainly isn't a movie I'd dare to finish if it wasn't for my hardcore commitment to finishing the Megan Fox saga (to watch all of her films in her filmography). It's just horrible.
On a side note,
I mentioned before that it's a movie worse than Night Teeth, but now that I'm writing my thoughts for J&C, Night Teeth still takes the award for worse Megan Fox movie ever.
Review from Radiant server,
Yuuki madamadane
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